Movember

November in Australia is well known as Movember. Not sure if its as big overseas but basically in the month of November guys grow moustaches and raise money for testicular cancer and male depression. I HATE moustaches with a passion, and we are so far into the month now that they are getting incredibly seedy looking and i just cannot look at any males in the street- or my home for that matter. My hate of moustaches is not the point of this post. Though it should be, because they are gross. I get that it is a good cause, very worthy and I think its great that men are getting into the spirit of charity.

My dad came home and told me of a situation tonight that is going on at his work. He is the manager of alot of people and they are mostly men. Some have slight mental problems, but do jobs that they are capable of.

One he has working for him at the moment has a mental disability he also has depression. He is still completely fine to work and is good with repetitive tasks. The people he work with are typical Aussie males. So... assholes. They have started taunting this guy, calling him every night calling him a faggot and saying just generally nasty things to get a reaction (clearly these guys have REALLY high brain capacity's to be so clever...) they were doing all of this on private number so it couldnt be traced. Till today when they brainlessly text messaged him- so they guy went to my dad with the number. He called it from the guys phone and the person answered and started with the taunting again thinking it was the other guy. Then when dad asked who it was they said its (insert my dads name) so they were being ultra clever there???

This "CLEVER GUY" is growing a mo for movember. He also has depression.

So he is supporting a cause that affects HIMSELF and he is also causing issues for someone with depression. Isnt that a little ironic? He is the cause but wants to be the solution?

Some people are just assholes.

Oh and it has been agreed that the "CLEVER GUY" will be getting constant phone calls all night and his shift starts at 3am. I am sure he will appreciate that! Actually i think i may call him now.

**The above picture is the iphone cover i bought today. Cutest thing ever right! I hate real life mo's but love cute ones on crafty things! It cost around $20 so i have in turn donated 20 to the stupid encouragement of dad's movember growing.

***SCOMAN: you are not an asshole- dont get all whingey that i said aussie males are assholes :) there are exceptions to the rule ofcourse!

David strikes again!

From: David Thorne
Date: Sunday 8 November 2009 2.16pm
To: Megan Roberts
Subject: DVDs

Dear Megan,
Thank you for your letter regarding overdue fees. As all four movies were outstanding examples of modern cinematic masterpieces, your assumption that I would wish to retain them in my possession is understandable, but incorrect. Please check your records as these movies were returned, on time, over three weeks ago. I remember specifically driving there and having my offspring run them in due to the fact that I was wearing shorts and did not want the girl behind the counter to see my white hairy legs.
Regards, David.



From: Megan Roberts
Date: Monday 9 November 2009 11.09am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: DVDs

Hi David
Our computer system indicates otherwise. Please recheck and get back to me.
Kind regards,
Megan



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 9 November 2009 11.36am
To: Megan Roberts
Subject: Re: Re: DVDs

Dear Megan,
Yes, they are definitely white and hairy. Viewed from the knees down, the similarity to two large albino caterpillars in parallel formation is frightening. People who knew what the word meant might describe them as 'piliferous', although there is something quite sexy about that word so perhaps they wouldn't.
Regards, David.



From: Megan Roberts
Date: Monday 9 November 2009 1.44pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Hi David
No I mean our records indicate that the DVDs have not been returned. Please check and return as soon as possible.
Kind regards,
Megan



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 9 November 2009 4.19pm
To: Megan Roberts
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Dear Megan,

With the possible exception of Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, the movies were not worth watching let alone stealing. In Logan's Run, for example, the computer crashed at the end when presented with conflicting facts and blew up destroying the entire city. When my computer crashes I carry on a little bit and have a cigarette while it is rebooting. I don't have to search through rubble for my loved ones. The same programmers probably designed the Blockbuster 'returned or not' database. Also, while one would assume the title Journey to the Centre of the Earth to be a metaphor, the movie was actually set in the centre of the earth which, being a solid core of iron with temperatures exceeding 4300˚ Celcius and pressures of 3900 tons per square centimetre, does not seem very likely. Waterworld was actually pretty good though. My favourite bit was when they were on the water but the scene when Kevin Costner negotiated for peace, ending the war between fish and mankind moments before the whale army attacked was also very good.
Regards, David.



From: Megan Roberts
Date: Tuesday 10 November 2009 3.57pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

David
The DVDs are listed as not returned. If you cant locate the DVDs, you will be charged for the replacement cost.
Megan



From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 10 November 2009 5.12pm
To: Megan Roberts
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Dear Megan,
I have checked pricing at the DVD Warehouse and the cost of replacing your lost movies with new ones is as follows:
Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay $7.95
Waterworld $4.95
Journey to the Centre of the Earth $9.95
Logan's Run $12.95
I have no idea why Logan's Run is the most expensive of the four movies as it was definitely the worst. Have you seen it? I wouldn't pay $12.95 for that. I would use the money to buy a good movie instead. Probably something with Steven Seagal in it. The entire premise comprised of living a utopian and carefree lifestyle with only three drawbacks - wearing seventies jumpsuits, living in what looks like a giant shopping centre and not being allowed to live past thirty. This would seem logical though as I would not want a bunch of old people hanging around complaining about their arthritis while I am trying to relax at the shopping centre in my jumpsuit trying not to think about the computer crashing.
I was recently forced to do volunteer work at an aged care hospital. Footage of these people during Tuesday night line dancing could be used as an advertisement for the Logan's Run solution. The only good aspect of working there was that I halved their medication, pocketing and selling the remainder, explaining the computer listed that as their dose and they were welcome to check knowing their abject fear of anything produced after the eighteenth century would prevent them from doing so. I also swapped my Sanyo fourteen inch portable television for their Panasonic wide screen plasma while they were sleeping, explaining that it had always been that way and their senility was simply playing up due to the reduced dosage of drugs.
Regards, David.



From: Megan Roberts
Date: Wednesday 11 November 2009 1.21pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Hi David

I have not seen those movies so I dont know what you are talking about. I prefer romantic comedies. If you have the movies we can't rent them so we lose money and the fees are based on what we we would have made from renting them and we also have to purchase movies through our suppliers not from DVD Warehouse.
Megan



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 11 November 2009 3.28pm
To: Megan Roberts
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Dear Megan,

I myself am also a huge fan of romantic comedies. Perhaps we could watch one together. I have a new Panasonic wide screen plasma. My favourite romantic comedy is Fatal Instinct although it did not contain enough robots or explosions in my opinion and I was therefore unable to truly identify with the main characters on a personal and emotional level. Recently, I was tricked into watching The Notebook which was about geese. Lots of geese. It also had something to do with an old lady who conveniently lost her memory so she could not remember being a whore throughout the entire film. I don't recall a lot of it as I was too busy being cross about watching it. In a utopian future society she would have been hunted down and killed at thirty.

In regards to the late fees, I understand the amount is based on what you lose by not being able to rent the movies out. You probably had people lined up around the block waiting to rent Logan's Run. For eighty two dollars though, I could have purchased six copies of it from DVD Warehouse or, as I have heard he is a bit strapped for cash, had Kevin Costner visit my house in person and re-enact key scenes from Waterworld in my bathroom.
Regards, David.



From: Megan Roberts
Date: Thursday 12 November 2009 3.16pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Hi David.
Restocking fees are:
002190382 Journey to the Centre of the Earth $9.30
003103119 Logans Run $7.90
008629103 Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay $6.30
000721082 Waterworld $5.70
Total: $29.20 - I have deleted your late fees and noted on the computer that the amount owed is for the replacement movies not fees.
Kind regards,
Megan



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 12 November 2009 7.42pm
To: Megan Roberts
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Dear Megan,
Those prices seem reasonable. I do not want Logan's Run but will pick up the other three when I come in next.
Regards, David.



From: Megan Roberts
Date: Friday 13 November 2009 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

What? The $29.20 is the cost of the replacement DVDs for the store.
Megan



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 13 November 2009 1.15pm
To: Megan Roberts
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Dear Megan,
That makes more sense, I was wondering what I was going to do with two copies of each movie.

Regards, David.



From: Megan Roberts
Date: Friday 13 November 2009 2.33pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

What do you mean by two copies? Are you saying you found the four movies?
Megan



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 13 November 2009 2.57pm
To: Megan Roberts
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Dear Megan,
Yes, they were on top of my fridge the whole time. Unfortunately I have a blind spot that prevents me from seeing this area of the kitchen as it is also where I keep my pile of unpaid bills. Luckily, due to my air conditioner being broken and the outside temperature exceeding that of the centre of the earth

Last night I slept on the kitchen floor with the fridge door open due to my air conditioner being broken and the temperature outside exceeding that of the centre of the earth. As my fridge emits a high pitched 'beep' every thirty seconds when left open, the vibrations from this caused the DVDs to wriggle forward over the space of many hours before toppling from the edge and I awoke to find them beside me on the pillow. As you have already waived the late fees, I will drop them off tonight and we will call it even.
Regards, David.



From: Megan Roberts
Date: Friday 13 November 2009 3.43pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Ok.

How about another clue...

Ok so i guess i was a little too cryptic in the first clue! So here is something to help a little.

Its in the UK.

I have to share this little clip, its just adorable.

I have been thinking that with my spare time i really should put it to good use... I am going to look into volunteering.. Maybe if i write it here then i will actually do it...

I love licorice tea. Its the bomb.

I really wish i realised i could set up more than one blog under an account, its driving me INSANE swapping between this one and the other one

Oh and only FIVE sleeps till... BRITNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH! and to tie this loose end up- the designer glasses were pair A. I find it amazing how i can pay ALOT less for one pair and they are basically identical. Ill write a post on this all when i get time, but i know you were all DYING to know!

THIS IS IT- Your first clue

Carmen Sandiego is sitting in this world-classed venue listening to Jordin Sparks singing no AIR.

Quick team- we have to find her before its too late!

**the small print- Yeah you have to be a follower to compete in this geography mastermind eventous. I am the ruler. And I stick to the rules. But if you want to email me with bribe offers I will not turn them down, just sayin.

Lets play a FUN game- play a Fun game, do you want fun? (sing to that irritating Gaga song...)

Lets play a game of Carmen Sandiego! Ill give the clues- you need to guess where she is! The person to guess the most correctly will win a travel themed prize!

First guess will start tomorrow night!

Further thoughts- to do this game i have had to turn on comment moderation... this way people that are REALLY trying wont have their answers stolen! Thats right people, you have to work for it. But it will be worth it!

A or B

One pair is designer, the other cost $10.

Can you tell the difference?

Which is designer- A or B

Why am I admitting this...

i MAY or MAY NOT have been bought a pink snuggie

i MAY or MAY NOT think its pretty wonderful

i MAY or MAY NOT be wearing it right now

i MAY or MAY NOT have a pocket in the front for remote controls

i MAY or MAY NOT encourage you all to join the craze and get one

i MAY or MAY NOT be ashamed to admit all of this